We often hear about “managing people.” But rarely do we talk about what might be the trickiest management task of all:

Managing your manager.

It sounds counterintuitive. Isn’t it their job to manage you?

Structurally, yes. But functionally, the best relationships work more like a partnership than a hierarchy.

Because here’s the truth: even the best leaders have blind spots, competing priorities, and limited time. Waiting to be perfectly managed is a great way to stay stuck. If you want to grow, contribute meaningfully, and stay aligned — you need to learn how to manage up.

And that doesn’t mean sucking up or silently overperforming.

It means learning to lead — even when you’re not in charge.

What Managing Up Isn’t

Before we get into the how, let’s get clear on what managing up isn’t:

• It’s not manipulating your boss to get what you want.

• It’s not being a “yes” person.

• It’s not pretending to agree when you don’t.

• It’s not quietly resenting them while trying to “outsmart” their weaknesses.

Managing up is not about control.
It’s about ownership — of your time, your impact, your communication, and your part in the relationship.

Why Most People Get Stuck

It’s easy to assume people avoid managing up because they’re afraid — of overstepping, being seen as difficult, or highlighting a manager’s flaws. And fear does play a role.

But more often, the real issue runs deeper:

Most people have never learned how to operate outside a traditional, top-down power dynamic.

They’re used to seeing power as something that flows downward — not something that can be shared, navigated, or co-created. Their working model of power is hierarchical, one-sided, and inherited by title.

French and Raven’s foundational work on the five bases of power helps explain this.

Most people over-index on three forms of power:

• Legitimate power (authority from position)

• Reward power (control over resources)

• Coercive power (ability to punish or withhold)

When someone else holds these, it can feel like the only available role is compliance. Defer, agree, stay in your lane.

But power isn’t just vertical — it’s also relational.

The other two bases — expert power (influence through skill) and referent power (influence through trust and respect) — aren’t granted from above. They’re earned and exercised from wherever you sit in the organization. And those are the forms of power that matter most when managing up.

So people get stuck — not because they’re weak, but because the only “map of power” they’ve ever been given is one where the manager is the driver, and they’re just a passenger.

But managing up requires a new map — one where you don’t need to control the steering wheel to help shape the direction.

The best employees don’t just follow orders.
They understand power differently.
They partner, navigate, and lead — even from the middle.

Principles for Managing Up Effectively

1. Understand Your Manager’s Context

Before you try to influence up, ask:
What pressures, constraints, or priorities is my manager dealing with that I might not see?

Chances are, they’re juggling multiple agendas — from personal goals to team dynamics to broader organizational demands. If you don’t understand the landscape they’re operating in, your efforts can land off-key, even if your intentions are good.

As negotiation expert Chris Voss puts it: “When bits and pieces of a case don’t add up, it’s usually because our frames of reference are off.”

Managing up means adjusting your frame to better match theirs — not to pander, but to communicate in ways that resonate with their current reality.

🔍 Pro tip: Pay attention to what your manager emphasizes, repeats, or reacts to. Those are clues to what matters most in their world.

2. Be a Solution Broker, Not Just a Problem Reporter

Managing up isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about bringing the right inputs to the table.

In Smarter, Faster, Better, Charles Duhigg introduces the idea of knowledge brokers — people who don’t just invent ideas, but connect them. They synthesize perspectives, surface insights from across the organization, and bring clarity where others bring noise.

That’s a powerful lens for managing up. Because sometimes, the most valuable thing you can offer your manager isn’t a solution you came up with on your own — it’s a well-rounded, thoughtfully curated view of the problem and potential ways forward.

Broker that knowledge into options your manager can engage with:

❌ “We’re stuck, and I’m frustrated.”
✅ “After checking in with the team and hearing a few different takes, I’ve narrowed it down to two viable paths forward. Want to talk through them?”

3. Clarify What Success Looks Like (Early and Often)

One of the most common failure points in managing up is assumed alignment.

You think you understand what matters. Your manager thinks they’ve communicated it. Then work moves forward — but not necessarily in the right direction.

As JFK said:

“The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.”

Alignment isn’t just about deliverables — it’s about shared perspective. And that starts by asking questions that invite your manager to think out loud — not just give instructions.

Try asking:

• “What’s keeping you up at night?”

• “What would ‘nailing this’ actually change?”

• “What are the tradeoffs you’re weighing?”

• “If we fail fast here, what should we be learning?”

• “What does this really unlock for you — or the team?”

These questions do more than clarify scope.
They surface context, pressure, and intent.

And that’s what helps you shape work that matters — not just work that gets done.

4. Adapt to Their Communication Style (Without Losing Yourself)

Every manager has a preferred rhythm:

• Some want bullet points. Others want context.

• Some want daily updates. Others prefer once a week.

• Some want Slack messages. Others need email.

You don’t need to change who you are — but adapting how you communicate can prevent friction and build trust.

Proactive framing helps:

“I’ve noticed you prefer brief check-ins. I’ll start keeping my updates tight unless you’d like more detail.”

5. Push Back with Curiosity, And Tactical Empathy

Disagreeing with your manager isn’t disloyal. In fact, it’s often essential. But how you do it is everything.

It doesn’t mean sugarcoating. It means naming their perspective before offering yours. You’re showing that you get where they’re coming from — and that you’re building on it, not tearing it down.

Here’s the difference:

❌ “That won’t work.”
✅ “That’s an interesting direction — I think I see where you’re going. I’m curious how it might play out if [X] happens. Want to game that out together?”

You’re not there to win. You’re there to deepen understanding, stress-test ideas, and refine the path forward — together.

Final Thought: Influence Doesn’t Need a Title

Leadership doesn’t require a title.
It requires ownership, discernment, and courage.

Managing upwards is one of the clearest tests of all three.

It’s not about perfection — or politics. It’s about building the kind of relationship with your manager where alignment is frequent, communication is honest, and progress is shared.

In other words: it’s about showing up like a leader, even when you don’t have the final say.

It’s about being the kind of partner that makes better leadership possible.
No permission required.