Landing a great mentor can feel like you’ve stumbled into a secret level of your career — someone who sees your potential, who’s walked the path before you, and who’s willing to offer their hard-earned wisdom. It’s rare. It’s powerful. And easy to mishandle.

But here’s the truth most people don’t talk about: mentorship is only as valuable as what you bring to it.

A mentor isn’t a shortcut. They’re a relationship. If you’re lucky enough to have one, your next move matters more than you think.

So — what should you actually do when you find yourself with a great mentor?

1. Treat It Like You’re Paying $500 an Hour

Imagine you were paying $500 an hour for the conversation you’re about to have. How would you show up? You’d be prepared. You’d respect the time. You’d follow through. You wouldn’t wing it or casually drop in without knowing what you need.

That’s the level of seriousness great mentorship deserves — even if you’re not paying for it. Because what they’re giving you — time, clarity, lived experience — is just as valuable, and far more personal.

A mentor isn’t a shortcut or a personal assistant. They’re not obligated to solve your problems. They’re making a choice to invest in you. Your job isn’t to be perfect — but it is to be intentional with the opportunity.

2. Don’t Copy Your Mentor. Come With a Clear Ask.

The goal of mentorship isn’t to become your mentor. You don’t need to adopt their values, copy their tone, or walk their exact path. You may not even like everything about how they lead — and that’s fine (see The Red Flags of a Toxic Mentor Most People Miss). You’re not here to be a replica. You’re here to get sharper in your own context.

The value of a mentor isn’t in imitation — it’s in insight. Can they help you see something more clearly? Can they offer context, pressure-test your thinking, or name the thing you haven’t yet articulated?

But they can’t do that if you’re unclear on what you actually need.

Before your next conversation, get specific:
– What am I stuck on, excited about, or uncertain how to navigate?
– Do I need clarity, challenge, or confirmation of what I already suspect?
– Is this a tactical decision or a bigger identity question?

Once you know that, come prepared. Not with a slide deck, but with intention.

A great mentor’s time is a gift. The best way to honor it? Don’t ask, “Sooo… what should we talk about?”

Show up with substance. You don’t have to impress them. You just have to meet them halfway, with clarity, respect, and a willingness to think out loud.

3. Share the Impact — and Say Thank You

Mentors aren’t usually in it for the applause. But that doesn’t mean appreciation goes unnoticed.

Tell them what’s working. Let them know when their insight made a difference. Share the outcome — good or bad. Mentorship is a relationship, and like any good relationship, it thrives on connection, honesty, and gratitude.

You don’t need to overdo it. Just be genuine. A quick “That advice stuck with me — here’s how it helped,” goes a long way.

4. Learn to Ask Better Questions

Strong mentorship isn’t about fishing for easy answers — it’s about learning how to think better. That starts with better questions.

Instead of:

“What should I do?”

Try:

• “Here are a few options I’m considering — what stands out to you?”

• “If you were in my shoes, what would you be paying attention to?”

• “What mistakes do you see people in my position often make?”

Better questions lead to deeper conversations — and more meaningful insights.

5. Make It Mutual (Even If You’re Early in Your Career)

You may not feel like you have much to offer your mentor — but don’t underestimate the value of curiosity, insight, or a fresh perspective. Ask how they’re doing. Offer your help when appropriate. Share something they might find interesting or useful.

The best mentorships evolve — from advice into dialogue, from hierarchy into trust, and sometimes, from respect into friendship. That only happens when both people show up fully, not just in the roles of “mentor” and “mentee,” but as humans.

6. Recognize When the Relationship Shifts — and Honor It

Some mentorships last a season. Others grow into long-term collaborations. Don’t panic if it shifts or fades. That doesn’t mean it failed — it means it served its purpose.

What matters most is that you honor what it gave you. Stay connected if it makes sense. Pay it forward when you’re in a position to do so. And above all, carry the growth with you.

Final Thought: A Great Mentor Isn’t the Answer — You Are

Mentors can open doors, offer wisdom, and guide you through moments you can’t see clearly. But they’re not here to live your life for you.

The real work — the deep, clarifying, sometimes terrifying work — still belongs to you.

So if you’re lucky enough to have a great mentor in your corner, don’t waste it. Show up. Ask better questions. Follow through. Say thank you. And trust that the person they see in you is already becoming real — one honest step at a time.